RIDICULOUS OUTRAGEOUS ANIMAL LAWS
Compiled by Linda D. Witouski
Ridiculous but true Animal Laws enacted in your state or city even before "animal rights" infiltrated our legislature to further restrict YOUR rights.
These examples of crazy animal laws currently on the books amuse us now but remember, they were passed not so long ago. Will civilization consider us barbaric or brilliant when looking back at such legislation? These animal laws were before "Animal Rights" infiltrated our society. A look back may show us what lays ahead in both Federal and State laws.
Alabama: It's against the law to promote, participate in or be employed during a bear wrestling match or to subject a bear to declawing, tooth removal or any other type of surgical alteration. (Wouldn't jail time be the least of a bear wrestler's worries?)
*And Alabama still has a law on its books that declares altering the teeth of a horse or mule to make him appear younger than his actual years is a serious state offense.
Alaska: Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
*It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
*It is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
Anchorage: No one may tie their pet dog to the roof of a car.
Arizona: Hunting camels is prohibited and there is a possibility of 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus. Also, donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
Arkansas: Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
California: In some areas of California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
*It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
*Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
*Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
*It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
Belvedere: “No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash. (Think about it.)
Hollywood: it is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
Ventura County: Cats and dogs are not allowed to mate without a permit.
Colorado: It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
Denver: The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. (Now that’s a law that makes total sense. At least if the dogs can read about their likely impounding three days ahead, they can seek alternative accommodation before the worst comes to the worst.)
Sterling: cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
Connecticut: Any dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police.
Hartford: It is illegal to educate dogs.
Florida: If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle and having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
Georgia: It's against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
Quitman: it's illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
Idaho: You may not fish on a camel's back.
Boise: Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.
Illinois: It is illegal to give a dog whiskey. (Presumably a Vodka chaser is acceptable though? We don’t want to be accused of cruelty here.)
Chicago: It is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
Northbrook: It is illegal for dogs to bark for more than fifteen minutes.
Urbana: It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of this town!
Zion: It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, and other domesticated animals kept as pets.
Indiana: No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.
Kansas: Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.
*No one may catch fish with his bare hands.
*The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
Kentucky: It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow.
*It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River without an Indiana Fishing License.
Fort Thomas: Dogs may not molest cars. (Why can’t every country bring this law in? It seems I can’t drive anywhere these days without some Labrador lothario or macho Manchester Terrier trying to get intimate with the back end of my Lexus.)
Louisiana: You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant.
Maryland: It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.
Massachusetts: It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits.
*It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color.
*No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
*It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.
Michigan: It is illegal to kill a dog using a decompression chamber.
Montana: It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
Billings: it's illegal to sell, give away or keep rats as pets or toys for any purpose other than to offer them up as snacks for snakes or birds of prey. (Not surprisingly, scientists are considered exempt and are allowed to employ the use of rats in their labs.)
Nebraska: It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
Nevada: It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
New Jersey: It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals at the local zoo.
New York: Jumping off a building is punishable by death (this includes the Empire State building).
*It is illegal to shoot a rabbit from a moving trolley.
North Carolina: Elephants may not be used to plough cotton fields.
*In Barber, fights between cats and dogs are prohibited.
Ohio: It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
*It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
*Owners of tigers must notify authorities within one hour if the tiger escapes.
*It is legal to throw a snake at someone but it is illegal to shake a snake at someone.
*It's against the law to kill a housefly within 160 feet of a church without a license.
Bay Village it is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road
Cleveland: it's illegal to catch mice without a hunting license! No mouse trap sales there.
Palding: A police officer may bite a dog to quiet him.
Marysville: It is illegal for a dog to urinate on a parking meter. (There are no parking meters in Marysville.)
Oklahoma: In some areas Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making “ugly faces” at dogs.
*Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property. (Quite right too. Why can’t our Government act tough to combat the problem of canine hoody gangs congregating outside my local supermarket? Excellent forward thinking legislation.)
Oregon: Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
Pennsylvania: you gotta LOVE this one.... If a motorist sees a horse coming down the road, the driver must pull off to the side of the road and cover the vehicle with canvas. If the horse is still scared the driver must get out of his car and take it apart until the horse isn't scared any more.
*You may not catch a fish by any body part except the mouth.
*Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.
*Though you do not need a fishing license to fish on your own land, a hunting license is required to hunt on your own land.
Pittsburgh: it is illegal to bring a burro onto a streetcar.
Tarentum: it is illegal to tie horses to parking meters.
South Dakota: No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
Tennessee: It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish. It is legal to gather and consume road kill.
Texas: It is illegal to milk another person's cow. And an old law that states you are unable to tuck your pants into one boot unless you own ten or more cattle.
Utah: Birds have the right of way on all highways.
Wyoming: You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
June 2009 - A law proposed in Britain would require dog food manufacturers to make phosphorescent dog food so that people won't step in dog poop at night. Guess they aren't enforcing their "clean up after your dog" laws.
In London, they have new bright green trash receptacles, the work of some famous designer. The bunny-bins have over-sized ears that light up in phosphorescent orangey-pink each time trash is tossed in the bunny’s belly. Yes, the United Kingdom and all of Europe is in great financial pain. Apparently our British friends can still afford a laugh.
We don't think animal rights is a laughing matter. Click the Legislation Index (above right) to get a quick grasp on what animal owners are facing that may be ridiculous but certainly isn't funny!
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