Dog Stories, Prose And Poetry


Old dogs, war dogs, puppies or strays,

Poetry has power to brighten our days.




The Romance of Rex

[A Tale of a Pedigreed Piddlin' Pup in Ten Piddles and a Puddle]


Piddle No. 1

A farmer's dog came into town,

His Christian name was Rex,

A noble pedigree had he

Unusual was his text.

And as he trotted down the street

T'was beautiful to see

His work on every corner --

His work on every tree.


Piddle No. 2

He watered every gateway too,

And never missed a post

For piddling was his specialty

And piddling was his boast.

The City Curs looked on amazed

With deep and jealous rage

To see a simple country dog

The piddler of the age.



Piddle No. 3

Then all the dogs from everywhere

Were summoned with a yell,

To sniff the country stranger o'er

And judge him by the smell.

Some thought that he a king might be

Beneath his tail a rose,

So every dog drew near to him

And sniffed it up his nose.


Piddle No. 4

They smelled him over one by one

They smelled him two by two

And noble Rex, in high disdain,

Stood still till they were thru.

Then just to show the whole shebang

He didn't give a dam

He trotted in a grocery store

And piddled on a ham.


Piddle No. 5

He piddled in a mackerel keg --

He piddled on the floor,

And when the grocer kicked him out

He piddled through the door.

Behind him all the city dogs

Lined up with instinct true

To start a piddling carnival

And see the stranger through.


Piddle No. 6

They showed him every piddling post

The had in all the town,

And started in with many a wink

To pee the stranger down.

They sent for champion piddlers

Who were always on the go,

Who sometimes did a piddling stunt

Or gave a piddle show.


Piddle No. 7

They sprung these on him suddenly

When midway in the town;

Rex only smiled and polished off

The ablest, white or brown.

For Rex was with them every trick

With vigor and with vim

A thousand piddles more or less

Were all the same to him.


Piddle No. 8

So he was wetting merrily

With hind leg kicking high,

When most were hoisting legs in bluff

And piddling mighty dry,

On and on, Rex sought new grounds

By piles and scraps and rust;

Till every city dog went dry

And piddled only dust.


Piddle No. 9

But on and on went noble Rex

As wet as any rill,

And all the champion city pups

Were pee'd to a standstill.

The Rex did free-hand piddling

With fancy flirts and flits

Like "double dip" and gimlet twist"

And all those latest hits.


Piddle No. 10

And all the time this country dog

Did never wink or grin,

But piddled blithely out of town

As he had piddled in.


The Puddle

The city dogs conventions held

To ask "What did defeat us?"

But no one ever put them wise

That Rex had diabetes.


This remarkable little rhyme was published in a small volume entitled Bawdy Ballads and Lusty Lyrics: A Curious Collection of Somewhat Salty Classics Seldom Sung in Sunday Schools, edited by John Henry Johnson, published by Maxwell Droke, Indianapolis, 1935. EST 1998 © Feb 2006-153-5



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